Our Zazzle store front

Monday, December 29, 2008

Photo Caption Contest #3.

We have been enjoying the holidays with our families and taking a break from the blog. We noticed this booking photo today on the CA's website. We have seen some crazy booking photos in the past. Some with "John Gaston Turbans", black eye's and even bologna sandwiches! Tell us what you think happened during this photo shoot. I'm also curious if this is within the SCSO's policy when it comes to processing prisoners? She obviously didn't want a clear image of her likeness to be used.

Saturday, December 27, 2008


We received an e-mail from a reader that asked we place the following death notice:


I don't know who you are and don't know what to call you so I'll just say
hello. I was wondering if you could put a small item on your blog about the
death of George Methvin. As you may or may not know I worked in Communications
for many years. George was one of the Communications Supervisors. He retired
after 33 years of service. 33 years and never called off sick one day. He was
just a decent, hard working guy that really tried to get along with everyone. I
know alot of your readers that have been around a while will recognize his name.
It's my understanding he suffered a heart attack at his sons home today
(Saturday). I know your blog is not about death notices but George was well
liked and I'm sure alot of folks would like to know about his passing. I was
told there will be a graveside funeral in Iuka, MS on Monday the 29th.

We would also like to ask that everyone slow down and take it easy this season. There was a recent accident that left an officer critical at the Med. Remember what was preached at the academy. You cannot help anyone if you don't make it there safe. We will NOT place fault on anyone and we will NOT play Monday morning quarterback. Stuff happens and we should learn from it.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Dueling Chicos.

I'm sorry that we haven't updated in a while. I've been really busy making extra money for the holidays. Overtime and my second job have kept me away. There has been plenty of focus on our department this week. The media has been all over us like a cheap suit. Everything from residency to the hiring bonuses. I know Chico has been loving the "positive" publicity. For once, something other than BLUE CRUSH has been the focus of conversation.

The media has emailed and asked our thoughts on the recruiting campaign, specifically, what can be done to attract qualified recruits. We haven't had time to respond and don't want to be the sole voice of the rank and file. I do believe that the best recruiting tool would be to get rid of the current administration. Second, we need a promotion process NOW. No bullshit excuses about HR and Essex. No crap about not having the money for the promotion process. No crap from the double talker Sewell (**side note, Sewell doesn't represent us. He only represents his own interest and getting ahead). Third, look at morale boosting alternatives. This could come in the form of having a take home car program for uniformed patrol. It doesn't need to be just for the highest ticket count, I mean Officer of the Month. Take the top 3-5 senior officers on a shift and give them a take home car. We all know that the byproduct would be the public confidence gained in seeing more marked cars on the street. Anytime an officer would be in their car they would be on duty without overtime assessed to the city. Per policy, anyone with a take home car MUST be available to handle any emergency situation (carry duty weapon and radio) and respond accordingly.

I already know what the administration would say. "I didn't have a take home car and neither should they". Typical of the jealousy that runs from the top down. For the outsiders that don't understand, the administration is not just the Director. It is generally the top 3 tiers of our department. Director/Deputy Director, Deputy Chiefs and Colonels. These people impose policy and have achieved their positions due to who (not what) they know.

We would like for you to tell us what you think would be a good idea as a morale booster. We know Chico reads this blog daily. I don't think he would ever take a suggestion from a post on this blog, but we could only hope. We could also hope that his ulcer causes him to medically retire.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Seasons Greetings.

I trust everyone had a good time last night at the MPA party. I had a complete blast! I am getting tired of the Pipkin building. There should be plenty of other locations where we can have this event. A DJ was much better than some hack band doing shitty renditions of Kool and The Gang. The food was ok, but some things were substandard and cold (catfish). The event coordinators should have stayed on the caterer's ass.

As usual, plenty of drinks were available for all to savor. I also enjoyed the talk about this blog. I spoke with may of you last night and received good feedback. Yes, we spoke without me comming out and saying I'm Dirk. You guys looked good in your gators and 3 button suits. I don't think there were enough furry hats like last year. Anyway, tell us what you thought about the party and what suggestions you have for next year. Happy holidays, Dirk.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Was our badge tarnished before we put it on?

Have you ever wondered why there are so many of us that hate this place? Have you asked yourself, "we does that guy stay if he hates his job"? It may be that we cannot get hired anywhere else. As some of us may know, being employed by the MPD may have been one of our biggest mistakes.

The Memphis Police Department has been getting plenty of bad press, courtesy of Larry "Chico" Godwin. The majority of the United States has heard of the crazy shit that has been going on with us lately. From purported misappropriations by our association to Saddam GODwin, it has all been in the media. Lack of promotions, dropping requirements and consistent cronyism have caused us to become like the New Orleans Police Department of the 90's.

If you don't believe that we have a bad reputation, apply to Nashville and be prepared for a hearty laugh. Hell, apply anywhere and see what happens. Most of us (myself included) have been trying to leave for years. We make it through the process only to get knocked out by some comment made by a supervisor or bullshit in our IAB files. I have applied for over 15 jobs in the past few years. Guess what? I'm still here with you.

Why does the MPD hold us back? Why do supervisors hold a grudge? Why does this adminsitration hate any officer that wants to have a better career? Why is GODwin so damn jealous? The current leadership sends the message of "if I wasn't afforded the oppurtunity, this officer shouldn't get a chance to move on from MPD". The 12th floor has more of a hold on our lives than you think! If someone in a position of authority doesn't like you, your screwed. If you try to leave, they'll screw you. Why? Because they can.

I guess that I am doomed to remain here with the rest of you. Rotting away at the Starbucks. Reading Special Orders with only the chosen few on the front page. The back is reserved for the non-conformists. Watching the select few, with no time on, continually getting "cake" assignments. The only thing keeping me sane is this forum that I have to speak freely to the rest of my brothers and sisters. The thought of each time I pass Osama Bin GODwin in the hallways of 201 and thinking to myself, "self, if only this dumb ass had a clue". Watching this DIP DONG of a Director get in front of a microphone and look/sound like an idiot. These tiny slices of joy make my day.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Memphis Crimefighter's Blog

I'm sure that some of you have seen or heard about the new Memphis Police Department's "be positive" blog. This blog was created as a "Yin" to our "Yang" in the crime universe known as Memphis, Tennessee. A word of caution. Be careful with this one. A new blog appears out of nowhere with an anonymous blogger going by the handle "Blue Devil". The blog is pro-GODwin and 12th floor REMFs. This could be a RTCC setup or public affairs attempt to improve the MPDs image. This is a typical management PR stunt. They are more concerned about the image of the department than the officers working the frontline.

With this being said, I'm not starting a blog war. I only want to pass on to our faithful readers to be careful about what you post. Be careful and I look forward to seeing everyone at the MPA party next Friday. If you haven't picked up your tickets, make sure you get them soon. Some of you have purchased Enforcer clothing to wear that night and we thank you for your support.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Anyone have advice?

We received the following e-mail from an applicant that was turned away:

I don't normally do this but I am running out of options and time. My name is Jonathan. I know as crazy as this sounds but I applied to be with the MPD in May and got my rejection letter saying I didn't "progress" to the next step the day before
Thanksgiving. Then I heard that MPD was discriminating against males that are white and over 21 and were using the psychology test to fail them. While I normally don't believe rumors, it would explain my rejection considering I have a perfect history and set up for joining. There is no way I should of failed but the background investigator wouldn't respond to my calls until almost 2 weeks later and he didn't know either. I know their busy but having to call multiple times and leaving voice mail isn't right, especially when you are a 3rd generation to join the MPD.
All I want to know is if there is some discriminating going on and what can I do about it? I only have a week left before I run out of time and miss my window to go into the academy.I know this is what makes everything crazy, I still believe I can help save this city before
the National Guard puts this city on lock down like they in Arkansas.
I thank you for your time.

Here's the best advice I can give you. Forget about joining the MPD. Most of us have been trying to leave for years. I have heard from numerous officers that have been turned down for employment because they worked for the Memphis Police Department. We are getting the reputation of being a "shit hole" department. Imagine that. SHIT HOLE LEADER + SHIT HOLE ADMINISTRATION=SHIT HOLE DEPARTMENT. We couldn't get jobs in loss prevention at Target if we wanted.

Find another department in another city. We use to tell people to go to the county, but they are still surrounded by shit. Like your mom use to say, "you can't shine a turd". Maybe some day we will turn this department around.

This is one of the main reasons why we cannot get enough qualified applicants. The department is kind of synonymous with college football recruiting. If you had a choice, would you go to the scrub school or the one with a chance of a NCAA championship? Chico has made us the laughing stock of law enforcement. I regularly talk with officers from all over the world via this blog. They cannot believe the amount of BS that we have to take here in Memphis.

In the end, we are all responsible for our future. You may not have the power to change your past, but you have the ability to change your future. As of this writing, there is no future with the MPD. No Hong Kong Phooey has been actor nor random commercial can change that fact. This is why I'm with the MPD.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Commander Clark sweeps the polls.

Jeffrey "smokestack" Clark has been selected by the readers as November 2008's MPD Enforcer 2.0 Asshole of the Month. Clark rounds out this year's short list for Asshole of the Year. Since this is a prestigious award, we will allow voting for the full month of December for this years nominees. **Some people have figured out that if they clear their web browser cache (cookies), they have been able to vote more than once for the same person.**

We are sure that some idiot supervisor will screw up during December. Keep that name for the coveted election of the first Asshole for 2009!

I hope to see each and every one at the MPA Christmas party this year. I wonder if Chico will have the roadblocks set up just outside of the function. Don't worry GODwin. I've got a rolodex of taxi numbers and friends to call if I need a ride.